Have you heard of Glossier?

I love a good marketing campaign.

Glossier, a beauty brand created by Emily Weiss (from The Hills), is a company I want to hate so badly, and while I haven't even tried one of their products, I am completely, hopelessly suckered into their marketing "lifestyle branding" voodoo.

It was done in a seemingly innocuous way, with a beauty blog called Into The Gloss that was created 7 years ago. I didn't discover the blog until the Glossier products were launched on Facebook sometime in 2016.

If you follow anything beauty-related, you've probably seen the Glossier ads, where the naturally beautiful, quirky model is swiping on lipgloss or dropping serum onto her face and you're watching, hypnotized. Everything's a no-makeup makeup routine (no makeup look consisting of 10 products, but whatevs), everything's effortless.

Their marketing extends to YouTube videos of the same everyday "normal" girls with their GRWM (get ready with me) videos using their favorite products always including something from Glossier-- shocker! The relatable vibe is in full effect with their modest but chic apartments. Each video starts with them waking up under a fluffy white comforter, their phone alarm going off, and they go about their very "real and normal" morning routine of drinking hot water with lemon before very casually using cleanser, rose water spray, serum, moisturizer, a face mask, a different serum, eyebrow gel, blush, highlighter, bronzer, and lipgloss. Beauty porn for the YouTube generation.

The prices rubbed me the wrong way-- clearly this brand is geared for girls in their 20s, and I'm kind of hating a 20 year old with that much disposable cash. $18 for a 6 oz non-luxury brand face wash, $25 for a 1.7 oz moisturizer (with no SPF), $12 for a .5 oz glorified tube of Vaseline called Balm.com and comes in "flavors". So I set out to hate Glossier.

One of their newest products, blush called Cloud Paint (I read it as Clown Paint every time), "comes in four flattering shades inspired by the New York City sunset". Which made me immediately wonder if sunsets varied between cities, so of course I googled that shit.

This is a New York City sunset:

This is a Miami sunset:

Glossier is also using their hypnotic powers with the heavy use of millennial pink. Dude. Look up millennial pink. Do it now. Game changer in the marketing landscape. I want my world to be millennial pink.

And then I started reading Into The Gloss, ready to hate it, and sadly loved it and need to read it at least once a week. The writing reminded me of Jane or Sassy magazine (Jane Pratt was the founding editor for both), with its no-nonsense conversational style. 

But I am not one of those girls in the videos. I don't have an apartment with exposed brick walls or a white subway tiled bathroom. I don't have fresh flowers in a mason jar on my nightstand or a $35 Diptyque candle burning in the background. OH, ALSO I'M NOT 20. 

I'm just jealous. I want pretty packaged millennial pink products lining my bathroom counter. I want a curated lifestyle. I want to be in permanent Valencia filter.

So in my quest to hate them, I have instead been sucked into their marketing moxie. Not that I actually bought anything from them yet. That will be another post.


  1. Jen!!!!!! You have ALWAYS been a writer. I love this. So on point. You had me cracking up and relating. Also Millennial pink seems like the pink of Miami Vice days to me...

    1. Thank you :) :) :) That inspires me. Millennial Pink though. It's on it's way out I heard, to be replaced with "red". Um ok?


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